Meaning of the Word
by ShaymieTehShaymin
Summary: "You're incorrigible." "I don't know the meaning of the word." "Somehow I don't doubt that." The last thing Alexander Hamilton expected to have to do in his senior year is tutor class clown John Laurens. He didn't expect to actually enjoy his company. He didn't expect to become friends with him. He especially didn't expect to fall in love with the turtle-loving jerk.
1. Chapter 1

**Y'all, I really should stop getting ideas for new stories. My fingers can't handle this. I was originally going to post this on John's birthday, but everything I typed was word vomit (and not the kind you guys are used to reading), so I never got around to actually finishing it. This probably won't update nearly as often as my other fic because that one's already on a schedule and I'm too lazy to add** ** _another_** **schedule on top of that one. So this will probably have sporadic updates. Anyway, hopefully you lovelies enjoy this first chapter! (Also I'm totally using the same Scott Pilgrim reference I used in my other story because it's my favorite quote) ~Shaymie**

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Alexander was suddenly regretting his decision to sign up as a tutor. For one thing, most of these kids were idiots. It was like they had never picked up a book in their life. And they read so painstakingly slow, it felt like he was going to keel over and die any second. He didn't need the extra credit. But he did need the money. His job at the library would only get him so far. And he'd like to live in an actual _house_ at some point. Well, maybe not a house, per se. That was aiming a bit high. But a small apartment would be nice. The floor of the library was uncomfortable, and his sleeping bag was practically ripped at the seams, stuffing falling out of every corner. Eliza had stitched it up as best she could, but where one hole was fixed, two more immediately followed. He gave up trying to fix it. He would just have to deal with it. He refused to spend money on another sleeping bag, money that could go towards food or something more important, like his future college fund. He had no doubt he'd be able to get a scholarship or two, but there was no way he could get enough to pay his way through four years of college. Maybe even more than that.

"Are you done with your work?" he asked the little girl sitting in front of him. Lucy Jefferson. Thankfully one of the smarter kids, but she was ridiculously rude and stubborn. Just like her annoying brother. She looked up at him, curly hair flopping into her face. A scowl graced her face as she turned back to her worksheet silently. Alexander looked down at the piece of paper and sighed when she put her arms over it, blocking everything but her name, which was written on top in childish scrawl. Damn irritating brat.

"Mind your own business!" Alexander gripped the edge of the table, briefly pondering how much trouble he'd get in for decking a nine year-old right in the face. Were all the Jeffersons this annoying? He took a deep breath and forced a smile onto his face. He knew that Lucy would tell her brother if he did anything she didn't like, and then he wouldn't get paid for this session and at this point he felt he deserved _something_ for putting up with this insufferable child.

"Lucy, I'm your tutor, remember? If you need help with anything, just let me know-"

"I don't need your help!" she huffed, turning a page in her dictionary stubbornly. Alexander resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "All I have to do is copy definitions from the dictionary to the paper! I'm not a child, I can do it on my own!"

That was how most tutoring sessions went. The annoying little brats would either refuse help entirely or expect him to do _all_ of the work. He knew what career path he was never going down. He didn't understand how teachers could deal with the little demons eight hours a day, five days a week. He didn't understand why Eliza wanted to be a teacher. He could barely handle hour-long sessions.

Alexander's life was a monotonous cycle. Eat (when he could afford it), go to school, tutor some ungrateful brats, work at the library, eat (again, when he could afford it) and fall asleep in a shitty sleeping bag on the cold hard floor of the library. He found time for his homework somewhere between that, on the nights when the floor was just a bit _too_ uncomfortable and sleep was impossible. He had to stay on top of his grades. They were probably going to be his only saving grace. He had to make himself look good for colleges to want him. He had to keep his promise to his mother. He told her he was going to make something of himself, change the world or some shit like that.

He had become resigned to this way of life. If anything, it was nice having constants, things that he knew would never change. Sure, some things differed occasionally-like Hercules offering him his couch when his parents weren't home, or Eliza surprising him with a homemade lunch, bringing him up to three square meals a day-but it was the same routine everyday, with the exception of weekends. Those were kind of the wildcards of the week. Sometimes Eliza would invite him out for a day with her sisters, or he would just spend the weekend at Lafayette's like normal. Every second of every day was accounted for perfectly, nothing ever changing.

Until he met John Laurens.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, all! I'm happy to see that you guys are enjoying this even though it's most likely terrible. Chapters are probably going to be short until I get back in the groove of writing in third person again. I'm a bit rusty. Hopefully you lovelies enjoy! ~Shaymie**

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Thirty-six minutes. That was how long Alexander had been waiting for his new student. After about ten minutes, he decided to start getting his _actual_ job at the library done before Burr or Angelica started yelling at him, but he kept his eyes on the isolated table in the back. At around twenty-five minutes, he decided to pack his stuff up and put it behind the checkout counter so nobody could steal it (not that anybody would _want_ his ratty old backpack, but you could never be too safe in New York). At thirty-five minutes, he had been in the middle of reshelving some books, climbing down the ladder and grabbing another book that belonged on the top shelf. At thirty-six minutes (and forty-four seconds), his student had finally shown up, calling his name as he descended the ladder again. He nearly jumped out of his skin and put a hand to his chest. The boy stared back uninterestedly, his eyes showing no emotion. He already looked bored, and none of the actual teaching had even started yet.

"You're Hamilton, right?"

"You're late, Laurens. You're lucky your father's paying for two-hour sessions." Alexander sighed at the pile of books still sitting on the rolling table. Suddenly he was regretting taking Henry Laurens' request to tutor his son and "straighten him out". With special emphasis on the word _straighten_. Granted, he _was_ getting paid an exorbitant amount of money. And it wasn't like he had to spend all his time with the guy. It was only a few hours after school and every other weekend, after all. But John Laurens was infamous around school for being an asshole and a stoner. Alexander had lost count of all the times he had seen him smoking behind the gym or in the locker room.

"Sorry, Hammy. I had better things to do than sit around in a dusty old library, learning about shit that isn't going to help me later in life." Laurens threw himself onto a nearby chair and hiked his feet up onto the table. Alexander glared at him and walked over to the counter to grab his textbooks. The shit he put up with for money… The guy was cute, with his abundance of freckles and dark curly hair that was threatening to break from its elastic, but looks meant nothing if his personality was terrible.

Laurens turned out to even worse than all the other children Alexander had ever had to tutor. Hell, he would have preferred tutoring Lucy Jefferson, and he hated the little brat. When Laurens wasn't making snide comments about his appearance-" _Love the hair, Hammy. Very school shooter chic."_ \- he was staring off into space, drumming his fingers on the table. Alexander was prepared to yell at him to pay attention when he caught a whiff of the stench of weed. Of course he had been smoking. He was almost _always_ smoking.

"Laurens?"

"Sup, beautiful?" Alexander's face flushed, but he quickly steeled his gaze. Curse this beautiful stoner with the beautiful eyes and the fingerless gloves that normally looked ridiculous, but he somehow managed to pull off. He wanted to call off this tutoring deal already, say that there was no way he'd be able to deal with such an irritating guy, but he honestly needed the money. Every little bit counted, and Henry Laurens' money was sure to help. He'd just have to suck it up and deal with it.

"Don't call me that," Alexander muttered, ignoring the flush that went over his face. He tapped at an equation on the paper with the eraser of his pencil and sighed. He already knew the answer to the questions he was going to ask, but he had to ask anyway. "Do you understand any of this? Have you even been _listening_?"

"That would be a double negative, captain." Laurens mock-saluted and slammed his hand on the table, earning him a glare from Burr. Alexander shot him an apologetic look and sighed. He looked down at the table when Laurens slid over a wad of cash. His payment, he assumed. But there were still thirty minutes left, why was he paying now?

"What are you-"

"It's so I don't forget and take the money. Dad would kill me if I blew the money on… recreational activities," Laurens said as Alexander started counting the bills. He felt like $250 a session was definitely overkill, but apparently nobody else wanted to teach the guy. It was easy to see why, given his personality. And his "recreational activities", which were stinking up the back corner of the library. How long did that odor linger?

The rest of the session was the same, Laurens staring off at the wall, occasionally making a flirtatious remark if he came back to reality for more than two seconds, and Alexander grinding his teeth furiously. If the guy wasn't going to take the tutoring seriously, why the hell did he even bother to show up? There were a million and one things Alexander could be doing instead of trying to teach an ungrateful stoner. It was like talking to a brick wall. A wall that was covered in freckles and reeked of weed. He was almost relieved when Laurens swept all of his belongings into his backpack, gave another salute, and left the library almost as silently as he came.

"Good riddance." Alexander packed up his things and bid farewell to Burr before starting the long walk to Lafayette's house, shivering in the cool air. His jacket had far too many holes to even be considered remotely fashionable. Hercules and Lafayette had both offered him some of their old clothes, but they were too tall and/or bulky and the clothes just didn't fit. Even their clothes from middle school didn't fit. Maybe a trip to Goodwill was in order sometime soon, before it got even colder. Alexander put a hand in his pocket and frowned when he felt something brush against him. He grabbed the thing and took it out. It was a small slip of paper. When had that gotten there? There wasn't much written on it. Just a phone number and a name.

 _John Laurens, you smooth son of a bitch._


	3. Chapter 3

**I wasn't kidding when I said chapters would be short until I got in the groove of this, please forgive me for such tiny chapters. Quality over quantity and all that. Not that anything I write is quality. Anyway, please enjoy! ~Shaymie**

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John smirked to himself as he walked home from his first tutoring session with Alexander. He didn't know what drove him to flirt with the guy. Maybe it was the weed, making him feel like he could do whatever the hell he wanted with no consequences. Maybe it was the fact that Hamilton was cute as hell and he'd had a crush on him since last year. Whatever it was, it made him flirt with the poor guy every chance he got. Seeing Hamilton's face flush pink and hearing the guy that never shut up struggle to find words was hilarious, and honestly kind of cute.

Alexander Hamilton was infamous around school for being a smartass who couldn't shut his mouth, who wore his opinion on his sleeve and didn't care about who he pissed off. If he knew about his reputation, knew the things people said about him, he clearly didn't care. In fact, he was a pretty passive guy… unless you said something that he didn't agree with. Then he went from passive to passionate in a heartbeat, coming up with an eloquently composed counterargument in less than half a second. There was an entire Twitter account dedicated to the guy's rambles.

It wasn't until he got into a fight with James Reynolds in the school cafeteria that John _really_ noticed him. He didn't know what had instigated the fight, since he was outside in the courtyard, which was the only place that nobody really went to during lunch, and therefore the only place he could safely grab a smoke without being bothered by a teacher. He just happened to look up through the window and see Hamilton on top of of Reynolds (and not in the fun way). Hamilton was strong for such a small guy, and it took three people (one of which was a teacher) to pull him away from Reynolds. The most surprising thing about the whole thing was that Hamilton hadn't even gotten in trouble for it. John had been anxiously waiting to see him in detention later that week, but he had never shown up, and he wondered whose dick he'd had to suck to not get in trouble.

After that, John was absolutely smitten with the guy. He knew that most _normal_ people would be running for the hills after seeing a complete psycho beat a guy to a bloody pulp. Most people would do anything _but_ develop a crush on the guy. But there was just something about Hamilton that was interesting. John couldn't put his finger on it, but he just felt… drawn to him. He considered it a blessing and a curse that out of all the tutors his dad could have picked for him, _Hamilton_ was the one he had ended up with.

It was a blessing, of course, because now he finally had an excuse to talk to the guy without having the prying eyes of the entire student body on him. Who knew what they would say if they saw the loser stoner talking to the future valedictorian. They'd probably think he was trying to sell him drugs or something. At least with this tutoring business he could talk to Hamilton without anyone annoying him. It was a curse because John knew that the second his dad found out that he _liked_ Hamilton, he'd be scrambling to get him a different tutor. A female one. And then he'd lose his shot to talk to probably the cutest guy he'd ever seen. He was brought out of his thoughts by his phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out and raised an eyebrow when he saw a text from an unknown number, which rapidly turned into a barrage of messages.

 **Unknown number:** _hey, this is alex_

 **Unknown number:** _and hercules and lafayette_

 **Unknown number:** _i don't have my own phone_

 **Unknown number:** _this is laurens' number isn't it_

 **Unknown number:** _shit, this isn't him_

 **Unknown number:** _just ignore these texts_

 **Unknown number:** _i'm going to kill him for giving me a wrong number_

John chuckled as the texts started flying in. He sent a quick text to Alexander (who was apparently borrowing someone's phone), telling him that yes, it was him and he hadn't tricked him. He ended the text with a winky face and noticed that he was on his street. He heaved a sigh and hoped that his father wasn't home. He didn't want to deal with his homophobic bullshit today. He didn't want to be asked if he had "gotten over his phase" or if he had finally come to his senses and asked a girl out.

The house was empty for once. John sighed in relief and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the kitchen table. He noticed a slip of paper tucked underneath the bowl, along with a twenty dollar bill. He sighed as he dropped his backpack on the floor and picked up the note. His father had taken his siblings out to dinner at some fancy restaurant. Without him, as usual. Their relationship had been strained ever since he came out. Henry loved to remind John of how much he didn't fit in with his perfect family dynamic, and constantly told him that all he had to do was "go back to normal" and he'd be included in the family again. As if. Even if he could, there was no way he'd change who he was just to get his father's approval. He didn't need it.

John pocketed the money, which was mostly likely to be used to order a pizza or something, and went upstairs to his room. He dropped the apple core in the wastebasket near his door and kicked the door shut behind him. He needed some weed and video games. _And maybe to text a cute guy,_ he grinned as he saw that Alexander had texted him some more. This was going to be a fun weekend.


	4. Chapter 4

**Whoa, what's this? I've managed to update both of my stories on the same day? It's a miracle (and it probably won't happen again anytime soon). Again, it's kind of a short chapter while I get into my groove, but hopefully it's enjoyable anyway. ~Shaymie**

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It was two days later that Alexander saw Laurens, and it was in a way he hadn't expected. He was on his weekly visit to his favorite coffee shop (paid for by Lafayette in an attempt to get him some more friends) and found that his barista was none other than a certain John Laurens. He sighed as he reached the counter and quickly spat out his order, not making eye contact. He thought that Laurens was filthy rich. His father was a lawyer, after all. Why the hell was he working at a dingy little coffee shop?

"I would have thought you'd want to talk to me a bit more than that, considering how much you've been texting me these past couple of days." Alex huffed as he dug around in his pockets for the money. Texting was easier than talking. Texting was just looking at a screen. Talking required eye contact which meant that he'd have to look into those distractingly beautiful eyes and he'd forget how to speak and make himself look like a complete idiot. "You know, I'm looking forward to our session tomorrow after school."

"At least one of us is." Alex made the mistake of looking into Laurens' eyes as he paid for the coffee and muffin. His mouth went dry as he stared into those gorgeous green eyes, which had the tiniest flecks of gold and made them stand out even more. A tiny smirk came across John's face as he took the ten dollar bill and handed over the change. Alex exhaled and left the coffee shop before he could embarrass himself further.

 _Damn Laurens and his stupidly pretty eyes and his cocky smirk and his freckles…_ He stomped his way to the library, taking occasional sips of his coffee and pushing his way past people idling along on the sidewalk. He was greeted at the door by Burr, who looked less than pleased. He checked his watch (which was a generous donation from Eliza) and sighed. He was late. Of course he was. As if the day couldn't get any worse.

"I'm sorry for being late-"

"You can't stay here anymore." Well, maybe the day could get worse. Alex bit his lip and let Burr lead him into the warm library. He should have known this was coming. After all, he couldn't have stayed in the library forever. He just wished he had a bit more of a warning… Almost like an eviction notice, he supposed. But could it really be an eviction notice when it wasn't his place to stay in the first place? It wasn't like he paid rent or anything.

He did have a bit of money saved up, and with the money he'd get for tutoring Laurens (he'd get over $1,000 a week just for five sessions, almost $2,000 for weeks when he had to tutor on the weekends), he could probably afford an apartment. Scratch that, he could definitely afford an apartment. Nothing too expensive, since he'd need furniture. An actual bed would be nice. He hadn't slept in a bed in years. When he slept over at Lafayette's house on the weekends, he slept on the couch. He refused to take up a guest room, since he was already imposing just by being in his house.

"Okay," Alexander said quietly, already thinking of possible places to live. His new home ( _home_ was such a strange concept to him, he hadn't had one in so long) would have to be somewhere close to the school and library. He couldn't risk being late, and he didn't want to spend most of his days walking. He had far too much work to do to waste his time like that. "Do I still have to lock up during the week?"

"Er, I'll take care of that from now on." Burr took his normal spot behind the front counter and watched Alex set most of his stuff down, with the exception of a few notebooks. He took his coffee and muffin to his table near the back and waited for his student to arrive. He didn't really remember who it was, and he couldn't care less. He had so much to do, it was hard to focus on anything else.

It was only after he left work that he realized that he had been focusing so much on what he'd do later that he wasn't focusing on the present. He didn't exactly have anywhere to stay. Lafayette's parents didn't let anyone come over on Sundays, period. He didn't have a clue where Hercules lived, and he didn't want to just show up out of the blue and demand a place to stay. No, he'd have to find his own place to stay. Even a little shack would be good for the night.

Alexander found himself at the apartment complex he had stayed at briefly, before everything had gone to shit. The building had been shut down because of health complaints (it had been infested with rats and management did nothing to fix it), but it surprisingly hadn't been torn down. It was beaten and worn down, and the front door was gone, but it would have to do. He took a deep breath and found the one bedroom apartment he knew far too well. All the furniture was long gone, probably taken by people in similar situations to his. He couldn't blame them.

"Home sweet home." He set his bags down and laid his sleeping bag out, wincing at all the tears and rips in it. The thing had really seen better days. He'd definitely have to buy a new one at this point. Especially since he didn't have the warmth of the library to sleep in anymore. He was going to be cold tonight. The windows in the apartment were rusted open, which meant that the night breeze was surely going to get in. He sighed as he tucked himself into his sleeping bag, using his backpack as a pillow.

 _Things won't be like this much longer,_ Alex reminded himself as he drifted off to sleep, shivering in the cold air. He'd make sure of that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Oh hey, what's this? A new chapter? On the same day I updated my other story? It's a December miracle! Speaking of a December miracle, it** ** _'s_** **actually getting chilly and** ** _staying_** **chilly over here! I can go outside without melting. Hopefully you lovelies enjoy this chapter. If you need me, I'll be enjoying the cold. ~Shaymie**

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 _What the heck do I gotta do to be with you?_ John sighed as he watched Alexander from across the cafeteria. It was drizzling outside, which meant that nobody was allowed outside in the courtyard. John was sitting in the furthest corner of the room, picking at a salad. He didn't really like school lunch, but he had been too high this morning to focus on packing a lunch. He had planned on skipping the rest of school today, but it had started raining and he didn't have an umbrella. So he reluctantly trudged into the cafeteria, paid for the crappiest salad he had ever seen, and sat himself down at the only empty table in the room.

Hamilton was sitting with a few of his friends, talking excitedly about something, his hands gesturing wildly as he spoke. His lunch sat forgotten in front of him, but when Eliza Schuyler nudged him, he stopped talking long enough to take a few bites of his sandwich. John felt a surge of bitter jealousy course through him when he saw the girl touch Hamilton. He reminded himself that he wasn't dating him or anything. He wasn't even sure if they could be considered _friends_. He had been getting tutored for two weeks now, and at the very least they were… acquainted? Some of the ice had melted between them, and they were able to have civil conversations. They were even on a first name basis.

Hamilton had a lot of opinions on a lot of things, and he wasn't afraid to let the whole library know. At least three times a session, he had to be silenced by Aaron Burr, the college student who worked at the library and seemed to be his boss. The shorter boy would grumble and mutter some less than pleasant insults in Spanish under his breath, causing John to laugh loudly, and then they'd have to be silenced for a completely different reason. It wasn't like anyone was ever at the library. At the most, two or three people would visit a day. Public libraries weren't really that popular anymore.

John nearly jumped out of his seat when a loud rumble of thunder rolled through the air. He sighed as he looked out the window. While he was spacing out, the slow drizzle had turned to a full on downpour. It was going to be absolute hell to walk through to get to gym later. He looked back over to Hamilton's table and frowned. It had been occupied just a few seconds ago, but now it was completely empty, the group's lunches sitting abandoned. Where did they go? Lunch was almost over. Had they left for class early? They didn't seem like the type of people who would leave a mess behind, though. He had seen Alexander and Eliza cleaning up the cafeteria after lunch on multiple occasions.

John threw away the rest of his disgusting salad and grabbed his messenger bag. He couldn't stand being in the cafeteria for much longer, especially since Hamilton was nowhere to be seen. He didn't really have a reason to be here anymore. There was still a little bit of time left in lunch, so maybe he could walk around school for a bit. He wasn't going to bother leaving until the rain died down some. He didn't want to deal with his father complaining about him dripping water all over his perfect little wooden floors.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and sighed as he started walking around randomly, not really caring where he was going. Most of the school was still in class, so he decided to walk towards the art wing, which was completely empty for lunch. At least there he wouldn't have to deal with any irritating teachers. He stopped in the middle of the hall to look at the art that was being displayed.

Another flash of lightning cracked down, causing John to nearly jump out of his skin again. He hissed a curse as the lights flickered out and reached into his pocket to pull out his phone. He was in the middle of unlocking it when he heard a whimper. He turned his flashlight on and looked around anxiously. If this was someone's idea of a prank, it wasn't fucking funny. _Maybe a dog just got into the school again,_ he reasoned. It wouldn't be the first time it had happened.

He turned into a dark stairwell… and tripped over something. He uttered a swear under his breath and shone his light towards the curled up lump on the floor. A pair of dark brown eyes glistening with tears stared back at him, and he had to do a double take. Yeah, it was definitely…

"Alexander? What's wrong? Why are you… on the floor?"

"None of your business." Alexander sniffled and pulled himself into a sitting position, propping himself up on the bottom stair. John followed his example and sat down, pulling out a pocket pack of tissues and handing them to Alex. He sighed and set his phone down, shining the light at the ceiling. If Alex didn't want to talk about it then fine, they wouldn't talk about it.

They sat in silence until the lights flickered back on. John turned the flashlight off and checked the time. It was time to go back to class. The bells probably weren't working because of the blackout. He didn't want to be stuck in a boring math class for an hour, but there was no way he'd be able to get home with it pouring down rain like this. If he was going to skip, he'd have to be smart about it, since the principal had recently assigned certain seniors to be hall monitors, and he knew that they wouldn't hesitate to snitch if they found him roaming the hallways without a pass. They got extra credit for every person they busted.

"It's time to go to class, you know," John said quietly. He didn't want to be the one responsible for corrupting the good kid. He looked over at Alex, who was dabbing at his eyes with the tissues.

"Since when have you cared about going to class?" Alex asked, handing the pack of tissues back. Their hands brushed against each other briefly. They both blushed at the short contact and pulled their hands away from each other.

"I couldn't care less about going to class. But I know that _you_ have a perfect record. No absences or tardies. And the great Alexander Hamilton wouldn't want to ruin his perfect record, would he?" John checked the time again. "You have like three minutes to get to class."

"Oh shit!" Alex jumped up from his seat and grabbed his backpack where it lay discarded on the floor. He dusted it off and slung it over his shoulder. He started walking up the stairs, but looked back at John, a shy smile on his face. "Thank you for… sitting with me. You're… not as bad as I thought you'd be."

"...Thank you?" John asked, frowning. Could that be considered a compliment? "We still on for after school?"

"Yeah. I'll be a bit late since I have some business to take care of first, but I should be there before the end."

John smiled and waved to Alex as he left. As much as he didn't want to admit it, his tutoring sessions with the guy were the best part of his days. It beat sitting at home alone, getting high and cursing out randos on Overwatch. His father was determined to keep his siblings away from him at all costs and signed them up for dumb activities after school. Anything to keep them out of the house as long as possible. He sighed and put his headphones on.

 _Time to wait until after school.._


	6. Chapter 6

**Merry Christmas, lovelies! If you celebrate it, that is. If not, then I hope you have a lovely rest of the year. I told myself I wasn't going to update anything the first half of this week, but then I realized that this story was sitting a bit neglected and decided** ** _why not_** **. So basically, I'm a liar, lol. On a completely random note, I listened to the Next to Normal soundtrack (after telling myself I wasn't going to get into any new musicals until the new year but, again, I'm a dirty liar), and the song Perfect For You just fits this story perfectly and it's now my theme for it. Anyway, I've been rambling long enough, so I hope you lovelies enjoy the chapter and enjoy the holidays if you celebrate! ~Shaymie**

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Alexander took a proud look around his new apartment and took a deep breath. He had finally sealed the deal and decided to move into a two bedroom apartment. He was willing to settle with a one bedroom, but his friends had convinced him to go for something a little bit bigger. They were going furniture shopping over the weekend, but for now he was content with his (brand new) sleeping bag. Well, it wasn't brand new so much as just a hand-me-down from Hercules. He hadn't wanted to spend any money on a new sleeping bag when he was getting a bed in a few days. He may have money now, but he wasn't just going to spend it because he could.

 _I did it, Mom,_ he thought happily, grabbing his backpack from near the door. The thought was bittersweet. He knew his mother would be proud of what he had managed to achieve… but he wished she was here to share it with him. He almost wished that he had been the one to die instead of her. No, that wasn't it… He wished that they had never gotten sick in the first place. He wished that she hadn't refused to go to the hospital because of how expensive it would have been. He wished that he could have done more to help her.

He sighed and started to head towards the library, locking the door behind him. This wasn't the time to think about that. There was nothing he could have done and he'd have to accept that. He was so focused on his thoughts that he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going on and stepped into a deep puddle.

"Fan-fucking-tastic," Alex grumbled, looking down at his pant leg. It was torn and frayed, so most of the water had splashed right onto him. And on top of that, it was freezing cold and he was closer to the library than he was to his apartment. He didn't want to keep John waiting forever. He'd have to suck it up and change at the library. It was a good thing he kept all of his belongings on him at all times. He didn't want to leave them in his empty apartment just yet, choosing to wait until he had actual furniture to store them in.

John was standing near the entrance to the library, smoking a blunt and listening to music so loud it was faintly audible. Alex had long since given up trying to tell him not to smoke around the library. Apparently the no-smoking signs meant nothing to him. His mouth quirked into a tiny grin as he saw Alex. He took his headphones off and looked Alex up and down, blowing out a ring of smoke as his eyebrows furrowed.

"What the hell happened to you, Hammy?"

"I stepped in a puddle." Alex huffed, not even acknowledging the stupid nickname. "I'm going to change and dry off."

"I'll be waiting at our normal table." John threw the blunt into a nearby trashcan and walked into the library. Alex sighed and followed him, giving Burr a half-hearted wave when he passed the front desk. He went into the employee bathroom and blew a bit of hair from his face as he changed out of his damp jeans. He changed into a pair of slightly nicer jeans and stuffed the wet ones into his backpack. He tied his hair back in a lazy bun and splashed water on his face before leaving the bathroom. He went to their table in the back and groaned when he saw Lucy and Thomas Jefferson staring down John. He'd forgotten that he had to tutor her today. Most of his after school sessions had been moved to the mornings or pushed back so he could help John… with the exception of Lucy, who had been busy the past few weeks and who he had forgotten to reschedule with.

"I wasn't aware a delinquent would be joining us." Thomas' voice was snarky as he leaned against the table, pushing back a few papers. He put a hand on his sister's head and looked straight at Alex, his gaze piercing. Alex had to look away. Of all the kids he had to tutor, why was his ex's little sister one of them? He could avoid Thomas at school, but he still had to see him when he dropped his sister off for tutorials.

"You didn't tell me a southern asshole would be here, Alexander." John sounded less than pleased as he leaned backwards in his chair and put his feet up on the table. Alex sighed and sat at his normal seat, flinching at Lucy's glare. Who knew a nine year-old could look so… murderous? It felt like her deep brown eyes were staring right into his soul. He looked down, focusing on a stain in the carpet. This was by far one of the most awkward situations he had ever been in. _Any_ situation involving Thomas was awkward nowadays.

"Sorry, Lucy," Alex said, making sure to not make eye contact with Thomas as he pulled some notebooks from his backpack. He could feel his stare burning a hole into his back. "I forgot I was supposed to tutor you today. Do you mind if John studies with us?"

"Whatever. As long as he doesn't bother me." The girl huffed and blew a bit of curly hair from her face as she looked down at her worksheet. Alex sighed. The Jeffersons sure were a piece of work, weren't they? He was relieved when he saw Thomas leave from the corner of his eye and relaxed. He looked over at John and saw that he was already hard at work, bent over his algebra textbook in focus. Apparently nobody was in the mood to talk, which Alex was perfectly fine with. He could focus on his own homework a bit.

The study session was by far the quietest one they'd ever had. Lucy didn't look up from her homework until she was finished and silently handed it over to Alex so he could check it. She had done her work perfectly, so she spent the last ten minutes of her session quietly reading a book. John, on the other hand, was glaring at his textbook as he tried to work out an equation. He was still on the first problem when Lucy finally left. Alex put the finishing touches on his essay and frowned.

"Do… Do you want some help?" he asked softly. There was still an hour left and at this rate, John wouldn't get anything done. He shook his head and leaned back in his seat, running a freckled hand through his hair. He put his other hand in his pocket and handed Alex his payment. He always paid sometime around halfway through the session so he wouldn't "forget" and blow the money on weed.

"It's so fucking dumb! Who the _fuck_ decided to put letters in math? This shit makes no sense!"

"I should invest in a swear jar." Alex switched seats, moving over so that he was sitting next to John. The rest of the session went on as usual, but there was an unspoken tension between the boys. Alex frowned when John packed his things up at seven o'clock on the dot and left without a word. He sighed as he gathered his belongings and left the library. He wasn't sure why John had been in such a bad mood the entire time. Wasn't pot supposed to make people calmer or something?

 _I'll ask him about it tomorrow..._ he decided, shoving his hands into his pockets to warm them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello there, my lovelies! Let's just ignore the fact that it's been almost three months since I've updated this story since I'm a terrible procrastinator and instead rejoice in the knowledge of knowing that this story hasn't been abandoned. (Although in my defense, I did say that there would be sporadic updates). Either way, I hope you all accept my apology in the form of this chapter, which is probably trash (and uneventful trash at that) because I'm a bit rusty when it comes to this story. Please don't maul me, y'all. ~Shaymie**

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They weren't dating. They were barely even friends. John knew that he had no right to be so… jealous. Jefferson and Alex were broken up and made it perfectly clear that they hated each other and would probably never get back together. And even if that wasn't the case, if there was even the slightest chance of them getting back together, it was none of his business. He didn't stand a chance with Alexander. He'd ruin him and he knew it. He knew it and yet… He _wanted_ him. He wanted to be with him. He felt this magnetic pull to him.

 _Pull yourself together, John,_ he berated himself, shaking his head as he threw himself face-first onto his bed. He scrolled through his phone until he found the contact cautiously named _Alexander,_ with a question mark because he knew that the shorter boy had only been borrowing someone else's phone. He hadn't even known the guy for a month. But even before they had met, he'd liked him. He was head over heels for this guy that he barely even knew. He didn't think it was possible for him to feel such strong emotions for someone before. He hated most people, or they would hate him, and he didn't blame them. He was an asshole. He pushed people away before they could get close to him because he was a fucking mess. He was a stoner who couldn't control his temper and lashed out at anyone who tried to talk to him. Everyone except for Alex, that is.

John sulked until the next day, when he rolled out of bed with a groan and got himself ready for school. The house was eerily silent as he brushed his hair. Normally his siblings would be running around making a racket. He didn't want to admit it, but this isolation plan his father had was having an effect on him. The only people who could tolerate him were his siblings, and now that they weren't here, loneliness had started to creep in. But he refused to go crawling back to his father. That would be admitting defeat. He was fine. He could deal with this.

He trudged his way to school, letting out an agitated huff when it started drizzling. How much was it going to rain? There were still puddles dotted around the ground from the downpour yesterday. His mood soured further when he remembered how scared Alexander had been during the storm. He had never seen anyone look so… terrified before. He'd never seen anyone curl into the fetal position before, either. He didn't know what the dude's deal was with storms, but it wasn't his place to ask. He knew he wouldn't appreciate anyone nosing into his business.

"Wait up, Laurens!" John looked back and saw Alexander running over to him, waving excitedly. He couldn't help but grin at the shorter boy. His bad mood was instantly washed away. He'd never seen anyone look so excited to see him. People normally ran away when they saw him. He slowed his pace to let Alex catch up to him.

"What's up, Hammy?"

"I just… wanted to know if you were okay. You seemed a bit off yesterday," Alex frowned, shifting his backpack onto his shoulder. "You can tell me if something's wrong, you know. I-Isn't that what friends are for?"

"I was just feeling a bit sick yesterday. It's no big deal." John managed to stammer out as Alex visibly relaxed, his grip on his backpack loosening. He was shaken by the use of the word "friend". As pathetic as it was, he had never had a friend before. He'd had acquaintances, sure, but never someone to call a _friend_. All of the people his father introduced him to either hated him or had better things to do than hang around with the stoner with anger issues.

The amount of concern Hamilton had for him was… surprising. It certainly wasn't unwelcome. After spending so many years basically taking care of himself- _he had been the one to nurse himself back to health whenever he was sick, he was the one to take himself to school for the past five years since his father didn't give a damn, he was the one who had to get a job to pay for his school lunches because his allowance had been cut off_ -it was nice to have someone else worry about him. It made him feel a little bit less alone.

"As long as you don't push yourself," Alex murmured, looping his arm with John's. If he noticed the blush that spread across the taller boy's face, he didn't comment on it. John felt his heart pounding as they walked into the school. Did Alexander not know the effect he had on him? Did he know that he occupied John's waking thoughts? Did he know that he was probably the most gorgeous guy in this whole damn school?

"So, are you coming to Laf's Halloween party?" John blinked at the sudden change of subject and shook his head. Nobody ever invited him to parties. It was hard to be invited to parties when you didn't have any friends. And parties weren't really his thing. They were far too crowded and the idea of willingly spending more time with people from school didn't sound that appealing.

"It would be kinda hard to show up to a party if I don't know the dude's address."

"I'll text it to you later!" Alex grinned, finally disentangling himself from John's side. He waved to his friends, who were standing near some lockers, and looked up at John, the silly lopsided grin still on his face. He didn't seem concerned about how hanging out with the school stoner would make him look. "Which reminds me, I'll be getting a new phone after school today. Or rather, a phone of my own. So we can text whenever we need to. In case you have any questions about algebra or something like that."

"Uh, okay." Jesus, this dude was like a hurricane, constantly changing subjects and going from one thing to the next. If he was anyone else, he would be annoying. But because it was Alexander Hamilton, it was cute and sort of endearing. John couldn't help but to smile around him. Though he hated to admit it, he was getting attached to Alex. Every bone in his body was telling him not to get too attached, but it was too late. He was already in too deep.

"You have work after school today, right? So maybe we should move your tutoring session to lunch or something. You can sit with me and my friends. Don't worry, they won't bite. Well, Peggy bit someone once, but that's only because the guy was creeping on Betsey. Look, just sit with us at lunch, alright? You won't regret it."

...Well _shit_. How the hell was he supposed to say no to such a cute face? He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck, shrugging halfheartedly. The small motion excited Alex, who clapped his hands together and looked up at him with bright eyes. John let out a minuscule sigh. What kind of trouble was he getting himself into? Hopefully Alex's friends weren't a part of the majority of people who hated him.


End file.
